Article about me and my discovery and love of dancing

Read the article about me and my discovery and love of dancing In Vie Magazine.
Mercia Tapping Dancer Survivor VIE Magazine Entertainers Issue March 2018

Posted in Cancer, Courage, Health, Inspiration

First Date

In 1995 I was on vacation with my sister Susan in Paris, when I surprised her by declaring that I intended to get married again. My sister looked at me completely astonished, saying

“You? Married? After all these years!”
Mercia Tapping and Herman Lowe
I had been divorced for 13 years and had no significant relationships the entire time. In fact, I had had over 100 first dates which had gone nowhere. Not exactly a success story. My sister could be forgiven for her skepticism. Then recovering herself from her vote of no confidence, she continued

“How will you find him?”

To which I grandly replied,

“I am a marketing person. You need a lot of leads before you make a sale”.

She shook her head.

Over the next 6 weeks, I joined several dating organizations, I also asked friends to hook me up. I also put a personal ad into Boston magazine, the precursor to online dating. Much to my delight, I got over 60 replies to my personal ad. I soon whittled it down to 4 suitable men – Mr. Friday, Mr. Saturday, Mr. Sunday and Mr. Monday. I was having a great deal of fun and enjoying the attention.

Mr. Friday was drop dead gorgeous and a very sweet man, Mr. Saturday phoned me every day and we chatted up a storm, Mr. Sunday was wildly suitable, very sexy and checked off all the boxes, Mr. Monday was quite brilliant and loved that I was highly intelligent.

Mr. Saturday

However, Mr. Saturday, now known as Herman, set his sights on me and was determined to vanquish his competitors, despite being last on my list of four men.

Herman was a clinical psychologist, and before we even had a first real date asked me hundreds of screening questions in order to figure out whether there were any big “red flags” such as excessive use of drugs and alcohol. When his questions got too personal, I fixed him with a chilly British stare saying

“That is mine to know and yours to find out”

However, our first real date did not go so well. I had chosen a tennis game on public courts, which I saw as a pretty safe activity. He arrived at my front door with tennis clothes on a hanger, and when I opened the door said

“Where is my closet?”

I gave him a long stare before responding

“You can change in the blue room”.

He told me later that he feared that this might have been his first and last date with me. I was further taken aback later that afternoon when he shouted across the tennis court and asked if I was not wearing a bra and was just intentionally trying to distract him from his game!

Herman told me that if I was serious about getting married again, that I should give him a chance to prove that he was a worthy suitor. When he suggested we have a 90-day trial “exclusive”. I was skeptical. There was no instant chemistry on my end, and I could barely comprehend sometimes what he said with his thick Worcester accent. And yet there was something appealing about this man. He was starting to make me laugh.

And so we embarked on our 90-day exclusive, with Mr. Monday checking in each month to see how it was going and whether he had a chance.

Making Me Laugh

Herman was smart enough to figure out that making me laugh was the fastest way to capturing my heart. His sense of humor was totally irreverent. For instance, we discussed over dinner early in our relationship what I should call him. His real name was Herman but everyone called him Butch, which he preferred.

“I cannot call you Butch. I cannot imagine introducing a “Butch” to my friends and my British family.” I said primly.

“So what am I going to call you” I continued, slightly irritated and sipping in a ladylike fashion on my water glass.

Herman took it in his stride, leaning forward over the dinner table and whispered in hushed tones.

“Just call me – BIG PECKER!”

At that point, I choked on my water and blew it out onto the tablecloth. It was my first lesson that it was tough to get the upper hand with this man. But I did call him Herman and got my revenge when I told that story 4 years later to the assembled crowd the day we got married.

And he made me, his prim and proper British wife, laugh every day of our marriage. Be very careful ladies who are still dating – a man who makes you laugh might steal your heart when you least expect it.

Posted in Inspiration, Life

Losing Weight In 2018 – Some Good Habits To Form

I am at a healthy weight and on maintenance but I lost very slowly. The silver lining to losing weight slowly is that little by little I began a whole bunch of practices that I hope will be with me for a lifetime. I share these with you hoping they might be helpful to you in 2018. And in no particular order here they are.

good eating habits to form for losing weight in 2018

Eighteen Insights And Tips To Help You Succeed In Losing Weight

  1. I cleared my pantry of “ trigger foods “, those which might precipitate a grazing attack. There are certain foods even to this day which I would have a hard time eating in moderation.
  2. I logged everything that I put in my mouth, so as not to kid myself. I still keep that food log.
  3. I weigh and still measure a great deal of my food. Even though I am better at guesstimating, the scale is always better. Read more ›

Posted in Health

Well Here We Are – The Tonks

the tonks, Tango and Cha,

Well here we are “The Tonks”, Tango and Cha at 8 months old taking a little break from driving poor Mom crazy!

Tango, Dark and Handsome

I am Tango the handsome dark one on the left, and I am on the fast track to be a big bad alpha male. I rush to greet Mom and I like to tangle with her feet; I am trying to trip her up but I haven’t managed yet. I like to sneak up on her especially when she is bent over brushing her teeth – Read more ›

Posted in Inspiration

Never Too Old To Learn

never too old to learn ballroom dancing
I always envied people who could dance. But I was the person sitting awkwardly on the sidelines at every party, feeling miserable. I wished I could be like the other people who could get up and move to the music without being embarrassed that everyone else was watching. Like millions of others, I have watched “Dancing With The Stars” and have been incredulous that in a few short weeks, complete rookies could become accomplished ballroom dancers, but alas that could never be me. I was far too old.

Encounters With Cancer

When my husband, Herman got brain cancer, we were at a Bar Mitzvah. There was dancing after dinner, I was painfully aware that this might be the last time that I might dance with him in public. So I shuffled around the dance floor with him a couple of times, weeping quietly into his chest and hoped nobody noticed. I was a basket case and could not wait to leave and go home.
Read more ›

Posted in Cancer, Inspiration

Dirt

I have always had an aversion to dirt. To understand why, look no further than my childhood in England. I was the picture perfect little girl in a flowered print dress who played with her dolls. I did not climb trees or wear blue jeans, and I never got my hands dirty.
the prim princess, playing with her doll does not like dirt
As an adult, I have always avoided messy eating situations; I dislike picking up pizza and risking food dribbling down my face, I do not pick up and gnaw on chicken wings, I cut my spaghetti so I can eat it neatly with a spoon, and my late husband used to shell my boiled lobster for me. We never had children and he was trained to take off his muddy shoes when he entered the house.
Read more ›

Posted in Cancer, Life

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

There is an old saying that “Laughter Is The Best Medicine” which I believe implicitly. If you cannot laugh at life as you go through it, it can get grim pretty quickly.

laughter is the best medicine

My late husband, Herman, was a great believer in the healing power of laughter. He was a clinical psychologist and would proudly tell me that his patients left his office smiling and laughing. He carried that laughter into our home and he plotted on the way home in his car how to make me, his prim and proper British wife, laugh over dinner that night. He made me laugh in many ways, including telling me how he advised couples how to “warm up” their relationship. No wonder they left his office smiling! Read more ›

Posted in Health

Revelations On Safari

revelations on african safari in kenya
I went on Safari with my late husband, Herman, a number of years ago: When I left Kenya I wept because I felt that I had witnessed the unspoiled beauty of this planet as it must have been in the Garden of Eden. I had also learned some very unexpected lessons about humanity. It was a revelation. Read more ›

Posted in Inspiration, Life

Angels Are Real

look upwards and wing a prayer to your loved ones in heaven. Mercia Tapping

I was plagued my entire adult life by this question. When we die is Is life just over? By the time that my husband, Herman was dying of brain cancer in 2011, that question became more pressing as I faced his death. When he died, was this going to be it? Would he just be gone forever?

When Herman was lying in hospice In a semi-coma, he suddenly opened his eyes, took my hand and and whispered “Don’t worry Honey, I will be back to look after you and bother
you from the other side”. I could only hope……
Read more ›

Posted in God

Everyday Courage

choppy waters will test our resilience and courage, but true warriors will navigate to safety. Mercia Tapping

Most of us think that courage is that bravery shown by soldiers doing heroic deeds defending their country, or perhaps the grueling, determined, recovery back from a devastating illness.
Who hasn’t been inspired by those doing a marathon in a wheelchair?

However, the rest of us have a choice to be courageous each and every day. It is not something that reaches the headlines of your local newspaper, but it is important nevertheless. None of us know how courageous we are capable of being, until we are tested. I am seen as a very courageous woman by those who know me, for the simple reason that I was the woman who had everything, and in a few short years,  it had all almost disappeared. My husband had died after a 2.4 year battle with brain cancer, my company had been debilitated and gutted from internal financial fraud, and I had to battle breast cancer, and eventually sell my company because I needed to concentrate on my health. To those people who tell me how inspiring I am because I never gave up and lived to tell the tale, I reply in all humility, that you never know what you are made of until you are put under fire. And even when you are facing the broken mess of what you used to know as your life, courage is not some loud and raucous event. No, it is breathing deeply as you get up each day, resolving to rebuild your life slowly, brick by brick. But make no mistake, courage is a choice, and in the end it is only yours to make. It is yours to stand up and fight, or get obliterated by the unkind, vicissitudes of life.

I consider myself lucky to have had a mother who was a role model of everyday courage when the family faced financial challenges. Read more ›

Posted in Courage

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